Papalogia
by TrashReciptical
Summary: Modern Au: Where Achnologia has been given painful task of taking care of five children, which just might be made bearable due to the presence of one Anna Heartfillia.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, they belong to Hiro Mashima

Acnologia was feeling a lot of things at this point, stress, exhaustion, and hunger, oh also anger, actually it was mostly anger, fuck it lets just say anger was the only emotion coursing through his veins.

"Excuse me, could you repeat that" Achnologia said in an extremely strained voice. The clearly professional man sitting at the desk in front of him cleared his throat

"I said…. that your cousins Skidarium, Wessiolgia, Igneel, Grandeeney, and your brother Metalicana left you as their children's god-father if anything were to happen to them, which has unfortunately occurred"

"So you're expecting me to take in how many brats?" Acnologia asked his voice and body trembling in barely contained rage, as his hands gripped the sides of a rather attractive leather chair.

"Well there are five children in total, four boys and one girl" the lawyer replied suddenly worried about wether or not the man was going to break his favourite chair.

"You do realise that I'm 24 years old, in college with some crappy apartment, and you want me to take care of five shitty little kids?"

"First of all Mr Achnologia we have investigated your police records, financial situation and your future living arrangements, you are well equipped to handle these five children" The man rambled

"What do ya mean, future living arrangements?" Achnologia inquired his anger turning into confusion. The lawyer smirked

"You seriously don't think they just left you with the kids?" the lawyer asked raising a brow at the disgruntled man.

"I wouldn't put it past them" The man grumbled to himself.

"Well it seems that they not only left you the kids but their shared house, inheritance and their company." Acnologia's eyes bugged comically out of his head.

"Wait so that means I'm suppose to run the dragon industries!?" he asked in shock.

"Well you are studying business, aren't you?" the lawyer inquired

"Yeah" he grumbled moodily.

"Well then I don't see the problem, you will hopefully be an excellent care-taker and we will have a person come to check on you once a week, every week for the first 6 months" Seeing no other option than to take care of the brats he hesitantly agreed

"Fine"

"Put her there than" the lawyer struck out his hand, Acnologia"s eyes skimmed over the man, his eyes landed on the name tag where 'Silver Fullbuster' was printed neatly. Acnologia brought his hand to Silvers to give a strong handshake.

"Well I'm assuming you're gonna want to meet the kids?" Silver asked

"Yeah might as well meet the twerps that'll ruin my life" Achnologia grumbled in response.

"Well go to this address" he handed the other man a slip of paper "and the children will be there waiting with the person who'll be checking on you over the duration of the six months" Silver smoothly stated. Achnologia snatched the piece of paper, looking at the address '48 Strawberry Street apartment 203'.

"It was wonderful to meet you Acnologia" Silver finished, walking out of the office leaving the strange man inside. Acnologia despite his calm composure had a million and one thoughts swirling around his head all fighting to be at the forefront of his mind. He sighed as he walked out of Silvers office in the professional firm, he thought that he should just get this over with there was no point in delaying the inevitable right?

—x—

Striding confidently along strawberry street was a tall, muscular man with darkly tanned skin, he had a shocking display of sky blue hair on his head with strange tribal tattoos along his arms, neck and face. This man was Acnologia on his way to meet his supposed 'kids' for the next however many years until they turned 18 and he could kick em' out.

'Dear God' he thought 'What if they're all little babies, shit I am not ready to deal with potentially five fucking babies'. He tried to ignore this horrific thought as he drew closer to his destination, instead he tried to think of positive thoughts 'Maybe their like 17 and I've only got one year, yeah that sounds good' he thought happily. Yet he realised that was only a pipe dream, he would've meet them if they were that old, they could only be around 8 years old at the most, that was the last time the family was together he mused bitterly.

Snapping out of his day dream he realised he had actually completely walked past the apartment he was looking for, he huffed at his own stupidity and stalked angrily back towards building 48.

Once he reached his destination he took in the appearance, four stories, made out of orange bricks giving off a warm and cosy aura despite its size, along with balconies on what appeared to be the second and fourth floors. Realising it looked a little strange he was staring at an apartment block he buzzed on the intercom that was situated on the outside of the apartment briefly glancing at the name Anna Heartfillia next to the number 408. He waited a few moments before he heard a voice

"Hello" Came a young female voice, Acnologia was shocked he didn't expected someone that sounded so young, honestly he wouldn't of been surprised if it was Porlyursica posing as a child carer and he had to rescue the poor children.

"Uh Hi, I'm here to pick up the kids, my names Achnologia" was his meek reply. Suddenly the voice became excited.

"Oh, yeah we've been expecting you, come in, to find the apartment just walk to the lift press number four and then walk to room number eight"

"Alright, yeesh woman I know how to walk and operate a lift" was his annoyed reply.

"Well sorry, for tryna help out" the women responded mumbling "Mavis some people are so ungrateful" under her breath which only aggravated the man further.

"Oi, just wait till I get up there and you can say that to my face" Achnologia growled threateningly at the intercom. Not bothering to hear what the admittedly nice sounding voice replied with, he walked through the recently unlocked entrance. Angrily stomping down the halls to the elevator and stomping around on the fourth floor till he found apartment 408 a the very end of the hall.

Knocking loudly on the door, completely ignoring the doorbell he waited for his knock to be answered, when it wasn't he knocked even louder, with much more force behind it than necessary. He then heard footsteps coming from the inside of the apartment and lets just say he wasn't prepared to meet the women on the other side of the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or any of its characters, they belong to Hiro Mashima

Anna was having a fucking _'great'_ day, note the sarcasm. It started with her waking up to her child care course professor ,Mr Serena, ringing on her doorbell with five annoyingly endearing children, saying she had to mind them till about 3pm when their foster father would pick them up.

After initial introductions Mr Serena explained that she would be checking on the foster father every week for six months, as part of one of her final course projects. Worst of all it was 25% of her final grade. The cherry on the fucking cake however was the insufferable man apparently called Achnologia (What the hell kinda name was that) on the intercom that was supposed to be the foster father. Mavis she hadn't even meet the man and she wanted to snap his neck.

She heard a knock on the door, she knew from their previous conversation the man was impatient so she waited until the knocks grew louder and had more power behind them, she eventually decided to answer the door. Checking on the kids ,who had all fallen asleep on the couch after watching Tangled (Insisted on by Wendy, the adorable little girl who had all the boys wrapped around her pinkie), she grinned in satisfaction. The brats weren't that bad.

Reaching the door she remembered the insufferable…thing on the other side, her smirk turned into a glare as she grabbed the handle turning it and lets just say she was not prepared to meet the _'thing'_ on the other side.

—x—

Watching the door swing open Achnologia was surprised to see the face of an extremely attractive, he would go as far to say beautiful, women glaring at him. The surprise must've shown on his face as the Blonde women huffed

"It's rude to stare Mr Achnologia" The man melted, the way she said his name (well rather huffed it in annoyance), it was like everything in the world had fallen into place. He shook his head, Dear Mavis why the hell was he having such thoughts about a women he literally just met, was he going soft? Nah, his college just didn't have women that were this 'Blessed' he thought, casting a subtle glance at her spectacular body. Before he got caught staring again he remembered that this women just sassed him, and you do not sass Achnologia fucking Dragon*.

"Well Isn't it rude not to invite a guest into your apartment?" he retorted

"Fine come in, the kids are sleeping on the couch, would you like something to drink?" Anna said in a much more hospitable tone, as she realised she would be seeing him for the next six months and it would be absolutely miserable if they hated each other. Well more like him hating her, Anna was not sure she could hate a man with that body.

"I'll have coffee thanks, no milk or sugar" He replied stepping into the apartment, while appreciating the view of her behind as she walked into the quaint kitchen to make the coffee.

"Demanding much aren't you" The women raised an eyebrow at the attractive man in front of her.

"Yeah well, when you've had a day like mine you would probably be able to understand" He shot back, recounting the days events from waking up, to finding out his relatives had gone missing and then to finding out he was gonna be a dad.

"Oh believe me I can relate" Anna said consolingly, her mind replaying the events from her day, leading up to the present.

"So these are the kids" Achnologia observed looking at the young group of children, that had fallen asleep on the couch. He could instantly tell which of his cousins had adopted who. Grandeeny obviously took in the girl, Metalicana probably took in the oldest looking one and….wait hold the fuck up why the hell did a 7 year old have piercings over his arms and face! This shock must've shown to Anna.

"He apparently did them himself, he wanted to be like his dad" She explained, Achnologia groaned, he knew his brothers damn piercings were gonna have repercussions, although then again him and his tattoos had no room to talk.

After that inner monologue he went back to observing the kids the blonde was Wessolgia's, knowing the prideful bastard would've taken in the one that looked most like him , Skiadrum would've taken in the short, black haired boy, he did seem to blend into the shadows just like his dad. That left the pink haired kid who was obviously taken in by Igneel as evidenced from his scarf, it was the one Igneel wore all the damn time.

"How old are they" He spoke up destroying the peaceful silence in the room.

"The boy's are all 7 and Wendy is 5" She explained

"Wait who's Wendy?" Achnologia asked looking around the room in confusion. Anna groaned in annoyance over the stupidity of the man.

"The girl" Anna replied pointing at the bluenette. Achnologia groaned at the pun Grandeeney made, really wasn't being a pilot enough, did she really need to make the windy/Wendy joke a thing.

"What are the others names" He inquired

"Well why don't you ask them" She replied, Achnologia was confused until he noticed the little kids were slowly but surely waking up. The first kid to react was Igneels kid

"GAh, Auntie Anna who is this?" he yelled accusingly, pointing at Achnologia

"Yeah who the hell are you?" Grumbled the pierced boy behind him, the boys voice surprisingly deep for a 7 year old.

"Whoever he is he'd be no match for the great Sting Eucliffe" Called out the blond who was apparently named Sting.

"No way, lightbulb, I'd beat him" Proclaimed the pinkette, while Achnologia sniggered under his breath at the nickname the blond was given.

"At least I'm bright, unlike you Natsu" The blond shot back, _'ouch'_ that was a good one the older man thought, coming to the realisation that these kids would probably be entertaining. The two boys continued to squabble, readying to leap into a tiny fist-fight if it was called for, well that was until Achnologia stood up to his full height and began to glare at the two and with his tattoos, hair and muscles the kids were pretty much scared into submission.

"Now that your finally quiet, this is Achnologia he will be taking care of you until your parents come back" Anna explained to the confused children, who were still observing the intimidating man in fear.

"Wait so you know our parents?" Natsu excitedly asked, knowing that if Igneel knew him he'd be awesome like his Dad.

" Your parents". He said pointing at Wendy, Lightbulb, Natsu and the kid that was yet to speak "are my cousins, and yours" he continued pointing at the pierced child "Is my Brother". At this the mute, surprisingly spoke

"So your like our uncle?" His words causing the gears in the other children's minds to turn until Natsu, leapt onto the tattooed man, his arms clutching the startled mans waist as he yelled

"Uncle Acno!" The actions of Natsu appeared to trigger a hive mind within the other children as they all followed his actions, all jumping up and grabbing either his arms or legs. The man who had just been what one would call attacked, could only stand there and hope that he wouldn't topple over and accidentally crush one of the brats.

Anna, who had been watching this scene from the couch only giggled at the children's antics and the facial expression of Achnologia, one that convyed desperation and pain. Eventually it became to much for her, and she bursted out laughing, tears forming in her eyes, and her arms clutching her stomach.

"Oi don't tell me you think this is funny women" The man growled, still trying to remove the children from his body.

"Oh, but Achnologia I do find this very funny indeed" she said smirking at the man, and coming to the conclusion that this school project might not be so bad after all.

—x—

*A/N: I decied to make Igneel's, Skidarium's, Wessilogia's, Grandeeny's, Metalicana's and Achnologia's last name dragon for convenience sake. But the children adopted their parents middle names as their last name so their names are still technically the same.

~Also I would love to thank everyone who favourited, commented, reviewed or followed, it really means a lot to me.~


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or any of its characters_

Achnologia wasn't one to admit defeat easily, when he was younger and challenged his siblings to a duel in kendo it would often take him nearly breaking a bone to surrender. Yet the current combination of children singing obnoxious disney songs (mainly 'let it go'. He swears he'll kill whoever made that movie), the piles of guardian paperwork from the government, and an annoying blond that was buzzing around him like a fly, Achnologia was willing to think that even satan couldn't come up with a worse punishment then what was happening to him right now.

"You're eye's twitching" Anna stated bluntly, bringing Achnologia out of his thoughts. Choosing to ignore the womens comments he focused his attention back on the damned paperwork in front of him. For as much as he loved business, he hated the paperwork. He was always more a face to face person and was an expert at negotiations, not so much at reading and filing out documents. Looking back down at his work he realised he had swapped the Mute's and Gajeel's files information. Swearing an extremely colourful string of curse words under his breath, he added man who invented paperwork to his mental to kill list.

While Achnologia was silently cussing at the paperwork Anna was observing him. He to her was actually kinda interesting, he at first was extremely irritating, frustrating, stupid, aggravating, a total jackass, and qualified ass hat. But he had also been quite patient and nice with the kids, even when they tackled him to the ground. She deduced the man had a soft side, and she was determined to find it. However for now she would amuse herself with his funny facial expressions that appeared whenever she annoyed him. Picking up a pen from next to her, she began to poke at Achnologia's arm hoping for a reaction.

The next 10 seconds were some of the scariest in her life (and she had survived a study session with Mard Geer) in one swift movement Achnologia had snatched the pen from her hands and crushed the poor thing so that red ink was now staining his hands. With voice that would probably make a demon quiver in fear he said

"If you don't get out of this room and stop the kids singing those damn songs in the next 20 seconds, the state of this pen will resemble your body" Knowing full well that Achnologia wouldn't follow through on his threat, yet never the less being absolutely terrified she bolted from the room. Leaving Achnologia sitting at the kitchen table in silence, allowing him to finish the rest of the paperwork.

—x—

Once all the paperwork was filled out, Anna and Achnologia managed to herd all the children and their luggage outside. An act that involved a lot of yelling, violent threats to ones genitals, and a neighbour almost calling the police.

"Thank goodness that's over" Anna stated stretching her back. "So where's your car?"

"Don't have one" he said bluntly, causing Anna to give him a shocked expression.

"So you walked all the way here from who knows where?" she asked

"Yup" he admitted appearing disinterested.

"Well then…..HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GONING TO GET HOME" Anna yelled, annoyed at the mans stupidity.

"I DON"T KNOW CATCH THE TRAIN OR SOMETHIN'" Achnologia screamed back, which caused passerby's to stare at the couple arguing in front of a group of 5 children and a pile of luggage. 'What a terrible divorce', 'Why would they argue like that in front of their own children', and 'I can't believe such a young couple have so many children' were all thoughts that flew through the publics mind at the scene.

"Not with that pile of luggage your not" Anna retorted nodding her head at the sizeable pile of superhero and disney luggage. Really though why Wendy had an Avengers suitcase and the boys all had disney princess ones she would never know.

Realising that the meathead (Achnologia) had not given her a response she began to think aloud "If you can't take the train or bus and you can't walk then what…..hmmmm you could always stay the night, but then again I don't have enough beds"

"You do realise that taxi's exist right?" Achnologia with a bored expression on his face leaning up against a lamp post as to give the impression he knew about the possibility of taxi's the whole time, but he actually only just remembered it himself.

"Of course I did" Anna said with a slight blush of embarrassment on her cheeks, looking away she continued "I was just testing to see if you knew"

"Sure, sure" Achnologia scoffed "But anyway I need to borrow your cellphone"

"Why?" Anna asked curiously to which Achnologia shoved his hand down into his jeans pocket and pulled out a a completely smashed nokia. It was so bad that when he held it from the top, the bottom half was only connected by a few wires.

"How the hell did that happen" Anna inquired observing the smashed devices

"Uhh…well…" Achnologia stuttered remembering the embarrassing incident that involved a bag of bananas and an old lady's walking stick.

"You know what never mind, here you go" she said smoothly pulling out a perfectly smudge and crack free iPhone and handing it to the man in front of her.

Once Achnologia had called the taxi, an awkward moment of silence ensured until Natsu walked up to Achnologia.

"Uncle Achno" he asked tugging on his muscular arm

"What you brat?" he responded annoyed

"Why is that guy trying to shove his tongue into that girls mouth" he innocently asked pointing to a teenage couple violently making out on the side of Anna's apartment building. Achnologia was paralysed in shock until he saw the boy start to creep his arm up under the girls shirt.

"Oh hell no, thats it" he yelled, adding an "Anna make sure the kids aren't watching" before he stormed off towards the couple. Grabbing the boy that was 16 at most, by the scruff of his collar and pulling him away from his dishevelled girlfriend.

"You know there is such a thing as public decency" he snarled at the acne covered boy who was shaking in fear at the sudden appearance of this monster of a man.

"I….uh….I" the boy stuttered. Grumbling in annoyance Achnologia dropped the boy on the ground with a thud, that would most likely leave a bruise. Crouching down so that he could whisper in his ear Achnologia said

"Maybe next time you don't practically have sex in public, okay buddy" hiss voice was laced with subtle vicious intent that promised a horrendous death, a message that clearly got through to the boy, as when Achnologia turned his back the young boy booked it, grabbing his girlfriends arm as he went.

"Wow, remind me to never piss you off" Anna gulped in both fear and awe

Achnologia's response was never heard as just then an offensively yellow taxi pulled up in front of the group.

"Well this is goodbye until Sunday?" Anna questioned. Achnologia nodded, his mind distracted at how he was going to explain to the kids what they just saw.

"Alright then bye Meathead, bye kids" she cheerfully stated, as she turned around and jogged back to her apartment, glad Achnologia wasn't to quick on the uptake. Meanwhile Achnologia was too busy helping the middle aged cab driver load the assortment of children's bags into the back of the taxi to notice her leaving. Turning around and realising she wasn't there he looked at Wendy who was reading some kind of book to ask where she went.

"Hey Wendy when did Anna leave" poking her head up from the book she timidly responded to his question

"Oh she called you a meathead and then said goodbye" at this Achnologia's right eye twitching was the only sign he was about to lose it.

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A MEATHEAD, COME DOWN HERE AND FIGHT ME" he yelled at the very unresponsive building that held the annoying blond. He was about to yell a second time before the taxi driver placed a sweaty palm on his shoulder.

"Hey everything's loaded up, where are you headin'" he spoke in a voice that had seen the use of many a cigarette. Shaking the mans hand of his shoulder he gave the address of the shared house his siblings had before herding the kids into the car. Entering the front seat himself he took a glance the children in the rearview mirror.

Natsu and the lightbulb were animatedly talking, the mute was looking out the window as if he were in some emo music video, and Gajeel was helping Wendy read her book. Turning his head back around he thought

 _'I really need to learn those two kids names'_


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer- I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters they belong to Hiro Mashima._

 _Also I am sorry for not updating in so long, I was kinda, just a bit lazy._

It hit half way through the drive to the house, it hit them hard and fast…motion sickness. Every member of the Dragon family has a shared weakness for moving vehicles (the only exception was Grandine when she flies her plane/s). However it was not only the children that were turning a violent shade of green, Achnologia unfortunately was not spared of this either.

This tragically lasted for the whole 15 minutes left of the drive to the ~estate~ wherein as soon as the taxi stopped all the kids opened the door and immediately fell out onto the ground. It was quite funny, Natsu and the lightbulb were kissing the ground, Wendy was spinning around in circles from dizziness and the mute and Gajeel were leaning up against the taxi. Luckily Achnologia had a fast recovery rate and was able to pay the taxi driver and grab the children's suitcases.

"Alright brats" he said gruffly "Once we get in this house I don't want any yelling, screaming, talking, smiling, and no laughing". He finished this statement with an intense glare just for good measure. Looking at the children's obedient expression Achnologia knew that there wouldn't be any more trouble.

What was unfortunate for Achnologia was that he didn't see the evil grins the children shared with each other once his back was turned.

—

It was only three hours later, around 8 o'clock, that Achnologia realised that his siblings had adopted the literal spawns of Satan. Achnologia flopped down onto the luxurious leather couch in defeat next to the mute, who was intently reading some book.

"How on earth do I deal with them" he asked himself in exasperation remembering that Natsu and the lightbulb had almost burned down the kitchen 3 times and were on their fourth try, Gajeel was trying to give himself more piercings with a pack of nails (that were swiftly confiscated), and Wendy was, Wendy was….. He actually didn't know what Wendy was doing until he heard a scream from above him.

Looking up he was horrified to see the young girl swinging on the living rooms main chandelier.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN GET UP THERE" he screamed at the girl who was too busy giggling in glee to respond. At this point the poor man was about to have a heart attack, he could just imagine his tombstone _'R.I.P Achnologia Dragon, cause of death- four children'_ yeah a real great way to go out.

Resting his head in his hands he sighed in defeat. Meanwhile the young boy sitting next to him feeling strangely sympathetic decided he needed some help with his crazy siblings. Shaking the older man gently he spoke

"Uncle Achno, I know when the adults try to control them they use food"

"Really" the older mans head shot up, hope shining in his (almost teary) eyes.

"Yeah they all love pizza" he said smiling gently, watching as the older man ran to the kitchen to find a brochure for the closet pizza place that did delivery. Meanwhile Rouge when back to enjoying his children's encyclopaedia of the world, until Achnologia popped his head back in

"Hey kid… thanks" Rouge smiled at the obvious difficultly the man went through to say the one simple sentence. That smiled stayed on Rouges face for a full five minutes until Sting began throwing some marbles he found at him and he promptly lost all the maturity and threw himself at his brother in a murderous rage.

—

To an onlooker it would've been comical to witness the personality shift in the children, but to Achnologia it was like he'd just managed to subdue a beast of legend and with pizza no less. Watching the children inhale the pizza he was reminded of his old family gatherings and he felt a pang of sadness in him at the scene. Not able to look at their smiling faces and not think of his siblings he retreated into the kitchen to clean up the huge mess that Natsu and Sting had made.

He was in the middle of scrubbing a particularly tough burn mark on the roof when he heard a loud crash from the room next door. Sprinting he was greeted to the sight of the massive chandelier that Wendy had been swinging on smashed one the floor right next to the couch where the kids were currently staring in shock.

"Alright thats it, everybody to bed, I think that this has been enough excitement for one night" he said still in disbelief over the fact that a massive chandelier had nearly impaled five children.

"Awwwe but uncle Achno we still haven't finished our pizza's" Sting pouted (Yes Achnologia actually found out their names, granted it was from hearing the other children yell at them)

"No if's or buts, there is smashed glass on the floor and I don't wanna take one of you to the hospital" He said looking at the children's sock clad feet.

"But how are we gonna get to the stairs then genius?" Gajeel sneered at the older man. Achnologia looked at the smashed lighting feature and realised his question was valid the chandelier did fall right next to the stairs. Peering down at his own feet, clad in black combat boots he accepted his fate.

"I'll give you a piggy back ride" he sighed in annoyance as the children cheered in glee. All of them began to clamber onto his back and once and Achnologia felt himself beginning to sway.

"Two at a time brats" he snapped at the kids in annoyance and felt relived when three of the five children let go of him. Who knew kids could be so heavy?

"Alright lets go" he said and began to walk towards the stairs, his face wincing a little every time he heard the crunch of glass beneath his boots. Once he reached the stairs he felt a little better, as he began to ascended them however that was not the case. Whoever was in his arms decided that he felt a little to much like transport and with the amount of cheese that they just consumed, well you can probably tell what happened next.

Looking down at whoever just ruined his favourite pair of shoes he was greeted with a weak grin from Natsu. Scoffing he dropped the other one, Gajeel, in front of his door (he could tell because it had the name Gajeel on it) and proceeded to shove Natsu into the bathroom so he could take a shower.

He repeated this process with the last three kids(Without the throwing up part, thank goodness) and then carried Natsu, who had fallen asleep getting dressed in the bathroom, into his room and ungracefully threw the sleeping boy onto his quilt that was decorated with flames. He then checked all the other kids before he headed down stairs to clean up a burnt kitchen, a large vomit stain, and a freakin chandelier!

Achnologia did not know how he was going to survive living with these kids because honestly, they had already given him heart palpitations.


End file.
